


(don't) call me by my name

by poketa



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, you are born with both the name of your enemy and the name of your soulmate on your wrists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23524225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poketa/pseuds/poketa
Summary: Quinn is written on her right wrist and Lucy is written on her left wrist but Rachel isn't sure which name belongs to her soulmate and which belongs to her enemy.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 21
Kudos: 359





	(don't) call me by my name

**Author's Note:**

> someone said write a soulmate au! so i did and i hope you guys like it

* * *

Rachel is born with two different names in both of her wrists, just like everyone else.

 _Quinn_ is written on her right wrist and _Lucy_ is written on her left wrist.

She graces with her little fingers the cursive letters, one day after washing her hands and the question leaves her lips when they are sitting down for dinner that night.

Rachel isn't sure which name belongs to her _soulmate_ and which belongs to her _enemy_ \- she's just five years old when the concept of soulmates is explained to her by her fathers and the order of the names are supposed to be at random.

Eventually, she hides the names behind wristbands and hair ties, because Rachel knows better than to wear not one, but _two_ girl names around a town like Lima, Ohio.

Still, she writes both names down on her diary and leaves space for the day she finally meets both of them. 

Rachel smiles as she imagines a life by her soulmate's side.

She sees her dads loving relationship and Rachel swears that if she could just have at least one half of the love they have, she would be the happiest girl in the whole world.

For her enemy...well, Rachel prefers to think more about love than hate.

* * *

  
  


Rachel is fourteen years old the first time that she meets _Quinn._

And it's definitely _not_ a pleasant meeting.

"Move away, _Midget!"_ A blonde girl growls at her, before rudely shoving Rachel out of the way and the singer ends up crashing into a locker, hissing in pain when the cold metal comes into contact with her body "You're blocking my path" the cheerleader says turning to glare at her.

Rachel scoffs at the blonde girl, but can't formulate a quick enough reply, before her world becomes stopped by a short sentence.

"Let that loser go _, Quinn_ , I'm bored!" 

The name on her right wrist burns and Rachel hisses in pain as she absorbs the information and clasps her other hand around it.

Rachel shoots and incredulous look just at the same time that the blonde girls turn to glare at her 

So, this is her _Quinn,_ huh?

The dark haired girl standing beside her _something_ clears her throat loudly, bringing both Rachel and the blonde out of their heated shared glance and _Quinn_ shoots her one last glare, before storming out with both of her sidekicks trailing behind her.

Taller than her, blonder, prettier and definitely, _meaner._

Quinn is everything that Rachel isn't and somewhere deep down Rachel puts two and two together and the realization hits her squarely.

Quinn is her _enemy_.

And when she thought about the names on both of her wrists, Rachel naively imagined that she would first meet her soulmate _and_ then her enemy.

Freshman year starts with Rachel staring at the back of a head full of blonde hair, who is the very same person with her name on one of her wrists and Rachel decides right there to keep her distance as much as she can from this girl.

She doesn't want to have an enemy, nope.

But life, of course, doesn't work like people expect, huh?

* * *

  
  


Glee Club becomes a beacon for change by Sophomore year and Rachel doesn't doubt it, she writes her name down on the audition form and smiles bigly as she reads that her name isn't the only one on the list.

But then the first day of Glee Club comes and she stops at the entry of the choir room with a frown because that's definitely Quinn Fabray in her cheerleading uniform reading a book, while sitting in one of the chairs of the back row.

So much for evading Quinn for a whole year, huh?

And as Rachel stands there astounded, the blonde finally turns to look at her with a vicious smirk and Rachel opens her mouth instantly.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel questions with a frown, crossing one arm over the other, she tries to stand as tall as her shoes let her, but she still feels small under the scrutiny of that gaze.

"Music called" Quinn says with a tilt to her head and her eyes are deep with something that endlessly irks Rachel "What can I do but listen" the blonde cheerleader adds with a nonchalant shrug as she carefully closes her book and leaves it on her lap.

" _Really?_ " Rachel counters with a raised brow as she shoots a dubious glance at the grinning girl sitting in the back row "How _chivalrous_ of you to answer the call then, Quinn" she forces a blinding smile and walks towards the first row of chairs.

As she settles down on the chair, Rachel can feel those hazel eyes on her and swallows nervously.

She plasters on her best smile and waits for more people to enter the choir room.

Hopefully, it won't be a miserable first day of Glee Club or Rachel _hopes._

* * *

  
  


Quinn and her become not entirely _friends_ , but for an _enemy_ , Quinn isn't quite the epitome of doom to Rachel.

Yes, Quinn makes Rachel miserable when it comes to Finn and Rachel dating him, but except for the tall boy with zero dreams and more hair than thoughts, Quinn certainly doesn't act like the villain in a western.

(And yeah - Finn becomes an interest to Rachel as _Lucy_ quite never comes and if anything, he is _something,_ while her _forever_ doesn't show up _just yet_ )

Quinn doesn't steal solos from her - nor like Quinn can anyway, Rachel _is_ the most talented person in Glee Club, no one can really do it, if Rachel is being honest with herself and she tries to always be honest with herself.

But also, Quinn never tries to sabotage _her_ performances.

Did Quinn ever try to sabotage Glee club?

Well, _yes,_ but Quinn never acts with the intent to interfere between Rachel and stardom - in fact the few times that the blonde has tried, Quinn actually offered solutions and other ideas to save Rachel.

In fact, it comes to a point where Quinn proactively supports her dream of New York and Broadway, like no other person in her life, when she actively tries to keep Rachel from dating Finn, yet _again._

"You don’t belong here, Rachel, and you can’t hate me for helping to send you on your way" Quinn tells her from the piano as they are working on an arrangement for Regionals and Rachel puts down her notebook to gaze at the blonde who looks fairly pissed at her as she sits behind the instrument with her hands on tight fists by the keys.

"Thank you for the advice, Quinn" Rachel replies evenly or as evenly as she can, but Quinn looks ready to punch her and she doesn't want to have a broken nose "But I can make my own decisions" she continues.

" _God_ \- You're so stubborn" The blonde cheerleader yells this time and Rachel gaps at the outburst "Why can't you see beyond that stupid boy, Rachel? What's so great about Finn _fucking_ Hudson that makes you want to leave your dreams to the side?" 

The words shouldn't be hurtful, after all, Quinn is telling her that she won't let Rachel date Finn to keep Rachel on her way towards her dreams, but it feels like this fight isn't just about Finn or her dreams.

(Rachel thinks about _Lucy_ , no one knows about her soulmate, but as the time passes the more it feels like she isn't meeting her yet)

And Rachel clings onto the only person who has shown any interest in her, even if Finn _isn't_ her soulmate.

"Why do you care so much, Quinn?" Rachel questions as she stands from her chair and walks up to the blonde who is gripping the edge of the piano with white knuckles and a tight expression on her face "Do you want Finn to yourself? Is that so?" she counters, pointing an accusing finger "Is that why you keep insisting on keeping me away from him?"

But Quinn just looks redder and somehow _madder_ as Rachel replies.

"I broke up with him, _Rachel!"_ Quinn yells, slamming her hands on the wooden surface of the instrument "Couldn't care less for Finn and his _sorry_ ass" the cheerleader says bitterly.

The silence has two passing seconds, before Rachel finds her tongue to speak and reply to those shocking words.

"But he said…" the singer trails off, shaking her head, this certainly wasn't the version the boy told her "Finn said that he broke up with you"

"He is a moron" Quinn dismisses with a roll of her eyes "You really believe what a man says to you?" The blonde scoffs and looks away "Can't relate" she mutters.

And Rachel snorts.

"So - you care about me? That's what you are trying to say?"

And as much as she can believe Quinn about her decision to break up with Finn, this truth doesn't fit the narrative, it's just _ludicrous_ to even fathom that Quinn cares about her.

But Quinn turns to look at her and her eyes aren't as hard, don't have that weight they had just seconds ago.

And Quinn never negates the words.

"We should go back to work" Rachel replies instead, swallowing her feelings and going back to her seat, the heat of the staring burns a path down her back, but she can't turn around and face Quinn.

Nope, not yet. 

Her heart feels like it just got a whole new infinite battery to run, but all Rachel can think about is her wish to meet _Lucy_ , to have her soulmate and to stop caring for other people, who clearly aren't her soulmate.

Her left wrist burns and Rachel can swear is just the wishful thinking that makes it burn that strongly, because it's just her and Quinn inside this room.

"Yeah, we should" Quinn finally replies and Rachel nods, looking up from the partiture to the girl sitting on the piano.

Quinn is concentrated on her own partiture, there's a light frown on her face as she bites her bottom lip and reads her own page.

Rachel watches enchanted as the girl closes her eyes and begins to play.

She could watch hours and hours of the blonde girl just playing and playing, her long delicate fingers easily switching from tile to tile and Rachel appreciates the discipline that Quinn puts in, well, _everything._

Head cheerleader, honor roll student and talented piano player.

She wonders about Quinn's own soulmate - if Finn isn't Quinn's soulmate then who is it? Who would be lucky enough to have this intriguing but wonderful girl as their soulmate? 

Rachel glances at the girl carefully and searches for the names in those pale, but strong wrists.

But just like Rachel, Quinn keeps the names on her wrists hidden. She has two thick red wristbands around her skin and Rachel wonders briefly - could Quinn be hiding girl's names just like Rachel?

Maybe, maybe not.

She knows that Quinn's friends have each other's name on their wrists. Santana has Brittany's and Brittany has Santana's, they don't hide it.

Rachel chuckles.

"What's so funny?" Quinn inquires as she stops playing and sends an amused expression to Rachel, who shakes her head.

"Just thinking about soulmates" Rachel confides and shrugs mindlessly, focusing back on the music.

Rachel has never told Quinn about her name on her wrist, but guesses that something about the way that Quinn looks at her, Quinn just _knows._

"What about it?" Quinn inquires with a disinterested voice, but there's a tilt that makes Rachel aware of Quinn being interested in her words.

"Just" Rachel shrugs again "Don't know, it's crazy - you are born, you get two names on your wrists and have to guess which is which, you know?" she rolls her eyes at the expression in Quinn's face and can't help but laugh "Exactly that - it's _nuts!"_

"Can we focus back on this arrangement, please?" Quinn replies with a pissed-off face and Rachel frowns at the change of mood "If my memory serves me right, Rachel, you were the one _pestering_ me to get this done" the blonde says seriously.

Rachel guesses that Quinn is right and focus back onto the arrangement, even if it bothers her how quick Quinn went from _almost_ playful to entirely scary Quinn.

* * *

  
  


The day that Lauren Zizes uncovers one of the most well kept secrets in the whole town, Rachel Berry finally meets _Lucy._

 _Lucy Quinn Fabray_ is written across every poster on the walls of McKinley high school, accompanied by the picture of a fourteen year old girl with glasses and a nose that seems nothing like the one on the face of the girl in question.

Rachel gazes at the name with mixed feelings, it can't be real, it doesn't feel real - but the more she stares at the poster on the wall, the less everything makes sense.

Both of her wrists burn at the same time and Rachel hugs herself tightly as the tears come streaming down her face and her heart races.

In a way, now it doesn't really matter the order of the names on her wrists, because both names belong to the _same_ person.

" _Rachel"_

She turns from the wall more than disoriented _and thank God_ , it's not Quinn - Rachel isn't sure what her reaction would be at this point.

Her whole world has just turned upside down and nothing makes sense anymore.

Finn caresses her cheek and she closes her eyes with a pained sigh.

"What happened?" He asks and his hand is too warm, too big, it settles uncomfortably against her skin, but Finn is trying to comfort her and it's not like there's like anyone waiting to do it.

"Just - just get me out of here, Finn" 

Rachel opens her eyes and he is looking at the poster behind her head with hard but sorrowful eyes.

He _knew_ about this - Finn knew about Quinn's secret - he knew about _Lucy._

What he doesn't know is that Rachel has both of Quinn's names on her wrists and the pain is too much to handle at this point.

"Let's go" Finn says, taking her hand and it feels just so wrong to be doing this, those hands aren't the ones that she should hold tightly and ask for comfort.

But isn't like she could ever ask Quinn to do it, either.

* * *

He quickly drives them both to her house, skipping altogether their last class and _Glee Club._

Finn doesn't ask again what happened, just holds her as she cries into his chest and swallows the reality of that burning in her skin.

"I know I'm not like your soulmate and stuff…" He says as Rachel wipes her tears with her wrist and it's both ironic and too painful to think about the very action of drying those tears with her left wrist, the name she used to dream about is now bitter and makes her want to rip her skin off, but Rachel just nods as Finn awaits for her reply _"_ But if you ever want to talk about...anything, I guess" Finn continues softly, like he knows that he is threading through difficult waters and maybe Quinn is wrong and he isn't as dumb as he seems "I'm here" he offers simply.

"Thank you, Finn" Rachel replies and it's the only phrase that will leave her lips for now.

She swallows and lays her head on his chest again. 

His quiet breathing drives her to sleep but when Rachel wakes up half an hour later, she's alone and covered with a warm blanket that is always at the end of her bed for this very reason.

The screen of her phone lights up with messages and calls.

Rachel sees that most of them are from Glee Club members and can't help but swallow the disappointment, when she sees that none of them belong to Quinn.

Her wrists burn uncomfortably and she cries herself to sleep again.

* * *

The next day, Rachel walks into the school and it's like a blanket has been lifted from everyone's heads.

There isn't any trace of the _Lucy Quinn_ posters on the walls, in fact, it seems like no one even remembers what happened the day before.

But the atmosphere still has the lingers of whisper and talk and Rachel glances warily down the hallway as she steps.

Rachel goes to her locker with a quiet step and sighs deeply as she reaches it, at least she could make it there without having to come face to face with the very girl that has troubled her mind, not for hours, not for days, but _years._

But yeah, isn't like life has looked out for her in any way, right?

"Rachel"

And she freezes, because she can't face her, Rachel can't turn around and look at that face, at those eyes, at that smile and act like absolutely nothing happened the day before.

Everything happened at the very moment Rachel discovered the truth behind the names.

"Quinn" She acknowledges quietly, looking deep inside her locker and maybe if she were to try harder, it could swallow her whole and she could escape this situation.

"Can we... _talk?"_

Rachel closes her eyes and holds herself steady on the brisk of an abysm.

Take a chance, she says to herself.

"Who is _we_?" Rachel questions quietly, she eyes the hallway and it feels like everyone is watching them, but no, now the hallways are empty and it seems like everyone went to class and they are the only ones standing there losing time " _We_ as in Glee club teammates? We as in Quinn and Rachel, two girls who don't interact out of the one club they share?" her voice quivers and she finally turns around, because if she will say it, Rachel will say it to Quinn's face.

She will say it to her soulmate's face, even if it's the face of her enemy too - even if it completely breaks her.

But all words die in her throat as she turns around and Quinn stares back at her with a tearful smile, out of her Cheerio uniform, just in jeans, a white button up and a pink scarf. 

Rachel closes her mouth, but for some reason, it feels like she can finally breathe.

"Actually, I would like to talk with Rachel" Quinn says and her lip quivers, but her eyes seem changed, seem _sure_ and Rachel feels a shiver run down her spine as Quinn lifts her naked right wrist and in cursive letters Rachel can read her own name " _My soulmate"_ The blonde says with a shy smile.

Rachel feels faint as she can't stop looking at the uncovered wrist.

_Rachel._

Because she's Quinn's soulmate too and Quinn accepts it as it is.

Rachel looks up and Quinn is biting her bottom lip and Rachel nods as she quickly tears away the fabric on her wrist and holds it up for Quinn to see " _Yes_ " She says and the way those hazel eyes light up with tears as Quinn reads her name on Rachel's left wrist is the most beautiful sight she has seen in her life "We can" Rachel agrees as she moves down the wrist with _Lucy_ written on it.

Quinn nods and offers her hand to Rachel, who gingerly takes it and feels a burning, but in her own heart.

It feels right, it feels correct, it's everything she ever expected but also way more.

"Shall we?"

* * *

  
  


Quinn tells her about _Lucy_ that afternoon.

It's a heartbreaking story that explains more than Rachel could ever imagine about Quinn and her personality, more about her family and hobbies than one could imagine.

(It also explains things that they don't address that day.

It's too recent, it's too early, they are so fragile, but the names of their wrists just assure Rachel that the day will come and they will be alright)

* * *

The summer before their Senior Year, Rachel tells Quinn about her right wrist. The covered one - the one that says _Quinn_ and has confused her for many years.

Quinn frowns with evident pain in her eyes, but still accepts the hug that Rachel gives her under the tree in Rachel's backyard as they enjoy the afternoon sun and summer breeze.

"At first, I thought you would be my enemy" Rachel confesses shyly and Quinn seems burned by ghosts of the past that she has already redeemed, but still haunt her to this day and Rachel is quick to assure her "But then I came to the conclusion that I was just supposed to meet you twice" Rachel confesses with a blush as she plays with the edge of her orange sundress.

And hazel eyes follow her with adoration that warms her insides and Rachel continues.

"First as Quinn" Rachel clears her throat, lifting her wrist and kissing it briefly "Then as Lucy" and she kisses her other wrist a little longer, just because she knows Lucy deserves a little more love.

And Quinn moves her away from her wrists to hold her cheeks and kiss her longingly as Rachel's hands fall from her mouth and to the blonde's hands to hold them tight.

"I think I love you" Quinn whispers against her lips as they move apart and Rachel sighs with happiness that makes her head fuzzy and her heart warm.

"You think?" Rachel asks playfully and bites her bottom lip.

Quinn nods and pecks her nose softly.

They still haven't talked about Quinn's covered wrist, Rachel wonders, sometimes wonders if it's her name in it too.

She has searched if one can have the same name on both wrists and it's possible - at least, she knows that if she's Quinn's biggest enemy, then Quinn has nothing to worry about.

Rachel loves her too much to ever hurt her.

* * *

  
  
  


The first time that they have sex, it's the first time that Rachel sees the name on Quinn's other wrist.

 _'Quinn_ ' it reads in cursive bold letters.

The thick red wristband is laying beside Quinn's iPhone on Rachel's nightstand and Rachel opens her mouth and shuts it soundlessly as her girlfriend sleeps blissfully underneath her.

Quinn isn't just physically naked on this bed, but personally too.

And Rachel's hand touches the pale tender skin with love and as she understands even more about _Lucy_ that morning.

She moves to cuddle the warm body and lay a single kiss on the beautiful naked shoulder that she's sleeping on.

"I love you" Rachel whispers as she brings the wrist to her mouth and lays a single but long kiss on _Quinn_.

And "I love you too" comes backs as a whisper in her hair and they fall asleep again, endlessly together in more ways than one, with more than just love lingering on the blankets of the bed.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> ...and how it was?


End file.
